"Dolls" Chronicled – Again

At the risk of my column needing a name change from “Beat This” to something like “The Dolls Chronicles,” I have even more exciting news about Phillip R. Ford’s held-over theatrical presentation at the On Broadway in North Beach. There in the sour, throbbing electric glow of strip joints and dirty bookstores on Broadway, Phil and a brilliant cast of locals have produced a stage version of Valley of he Dolls based on the film from the most popular “dirty book” of perhaps all time by Jacqueline Susann. Heading into its second month, Dolls has become a tight, polished production and is due to close on April 17, so if you haven’t seen it yet make your reservations now.

Last week the show was unexpectedly locked out of the theater two nights in a row due to a dispute between the property owner and tenants, or theater management. This injustice to the cast and theatergoers reeked of that classic age-old sleazy North Beach underworld mystique: gun-toting landlords with one eye, the stripper who knew too much, a body discovered in a basement, slavery rings, that sort of thing. Nevertheless, Phil served them with a lawsuit for damages and they quickly handed over the keys for Friday night’s show. Not present that night was the ill- mannered manager, a fixture a the venue since way back when punk bands played there, who has on more than one occasion been frightfully unpleasant to me and could use a lesson or two in proper decorum.

It was a happy coincidence that the theater reopened on Friday because a very special guest, someone whose visit had been anticipated for weeks and who was rumored to be in the audience every weekend, someone whom the cast had ominously and affectionately begun to refer to as “The Lady,” and someone who had the power to shut the show down if she wanted to, finally flew into town to catch Dolls. Her name is Lisa Maurren, stepdaughter of Jacqueline Susann and owner of the rights to Valley of the Dolls, which, incidentally, holds the Guinness Book of World Records record as the largest-selling paperback of all time. Cast members were peeking out of the dressing room entrance off the lobby asking, “Where’s The Lady?” I knew as soon as I saw her leopard-print scarf and handbag.

The show went well and when I asked her, Lisa Maurren said she enjoyed it. The cast trundled down the stairs into the lobby for the post-show schmooze a little more quickly than usual, all anxious to meet Maurren. Posters were autographed, pleasantries exchanged and before I knew it everyone was off to Connie Champagne’s house to watch a rare video that Maurren had brought along to share with Phil. As for the big question about shutting down the show over copyright infringement, I’m certain it wasn’t even a consideration. She was enthusiastic when she first read about a drag version of Valley of the Dolls in the New York Times, and flew out for the show ‘just for the fun of it.” The video we watched at Connie’s was a made-for- TV documentary on Jacqueline Susann and it was fascinating. I had no idea what a magnificent, sharp- dressing, brutal, powerful and way-ahead-of-her-time woman Jackie Susann was. Augmented by Lisa’s running commentary (“Pucci was her favorite designer.... Watch her typing. See. She only used two fingers and look how fast.. There’s Josephine, her poodle, and subject of her first book. I have Josephine stationery at home... She loved science fiction... .Judy Garland only had three dresses sent to her room at the hotel thinking she would be there only three days, all Pucci’s. And for the 14 days she was involved with Valley of the Dolls that’s all she had to wear”), the video inspired a chorus of oohs and aahhs over make-up, hair and clothing and hushed reverence over rare footage of a press conference with Jackie and Judy Garland announcing Judy’s casting as Helen Lawson, her last film role, which was never completed due to Judy’s—shall we say... legend.

What can I say besides it was a rare and wonderful Hollywood-style occasion meeting Lisa Maurren and watching the video and hearing only a few of the pearls of what I’m sure is a wealth of interesting anecdotes and details involved in keeping the estate and memory of a great woman preserved and not forgotten. The most awesome info disclosed was the vast amount of unprinted works by Susann this woman has in her possession, including a sequel to Valley, a science fiction novel, lots of plays written for the stage, collaborations with her secretary and best friend. As for the cast of Dolls and Phil, I can’t think of a group more hungry and grateful for such a treat, nor one more deserving.

WHO NEEDS THEIR APPROVAL ANYWAY?

Speaking of just deserts, I’ve learned that both the Chronicle and the Examiner felt Dolls did not deserve to be reviewed in either daily, which I find deplorable in any local publication claiming to have an entertainment section. It was dismissed by one of the papers as unworthy of review because it “glorifies amateurism.” I heartily disagree. Now that the Examiner has let readers know that it’s a drag drag drag drag world in this post-Crying Game era, I can hardly believe they wouldn’t have reviewed a show that Lypsinka herself actually attended—after all she’s a model and stuff. Perhaps they were too busy playing the “Let’s Dress Jaye Davidson for the Oscar Night” game in Mandy Behbehani’s fashion cubicle, with anatomically correct fashion- sketch paper dolls.

Other luminaries and notables who have made their way out to see Dolls include many cast members from several shows that apparently do not glorify amateurism, like Beach Blanket Babylon (I guess it’s okay to glorify potty humor), Guys and Dolls, The Brady Bunch (Gee, Jan, 1 don’t know), etc. And just what did Oba! Oba! glorify? And why are people involved in casting upcoming shows attending Dolls and making offers to cast members? Why did he most sought-after young director in the motion picture industry, Gus Van Sant, a guy who has every major Hollywood star vying to work with him on his upcoming Mayor of Castro Street, or anything he does, attend the show one night, hanging out afterward to meet Phil and a few cast members? Probably the same reason he attended Danielle Willis’s Breakfast in the Flesh District— he’s smart. He’s smart enough to sense where artistic boldness and commitment to one’s art and vision are to be found, which usually isn’t very close to the bank and lately seems much closer to the graveyard. Mr. Van Sant probably considered the production respectfully rather than something to write off as unworthy, but he certainly didn’t find out about Dolls in this fair city’s daily newspapers. I’m glad he was steered in the right direction or he wouldn’t have met or seen Jade. Jade plays, magnificently, the role of Jennifer North, the Sharon Tate role in the movie.

A SUPERMODEL IS BORN

Jade Semi-Precious has emerged from Dolls as the up-and- coming star on the scene. Her near-flawless characterization of Jennifer is executed with uncanny similarity to the way it was played by Sharon Tate, yet the imitation bums with another quality, one that is uniquely Jade while at the same time something shared by every person possessing the unstoppable urge to be a performer. She exudes greatness and it seems effortless. She’s a true natural if ever I saw one and I look to her future with unbridle I excitement and, dare I say it, goose bumps. Her work in Dolls is just one facet of her overall talent. She can take the simplest or silliest of performance options like a song at a karaoke bar or a 30-minute stint of go-go dancing or the basic drag tradition of lip-synching and turn it into a mind-shattering event, a performance pulled out of nowhere. Her recent appearance at Star Bar lip-synching two songs left me spellbound in a new way. Jade does to lip-synching what Sonic Youth does to traditional rock songs. She takes a song, retains a smattering of fully traditional drag nuances and shatters the structure sporadically with lust, rage and humor, then pulls them back together by the time she synchs the last note. It’s vivid and confrontational and difficult to describe. It makes Lypsinka look like housewife.

Well, Gus Van Sant, having seen Jade both as Jennifer North and out of drag, a state in which Jade resembles your basic teenage grunge-rocker, was apparently intrigued. One thing led to another and after a preliminary meeting Gus chose Jade as the model for the logo he will be using to represent his own film company. Elaborate costumes have been fitted and a date for the photo shoot is set. I can’t help but think that this alliance could lead to more work with him than just modeling, because she’s definitely capable and according to fellow members of the cast of Dolls, conducts herself with solid professional grace. Doesn’t sound like just another glorified amateur to me.

I had to wonder if Jade, during her curtain call on the night Gus saw the show, pulled her long blond wig off just before she took her bow. I watched her do that one night. In a short tight black mini-dress with those miraculous legs and that perfect saucy strut, she walked halfway out on the long ramp that extends into the audience and pulled off the wig. Her own shoulder-length brown tresses fell down about her face and with one attractive flip of the head, she was perfect. She continued to the end of the ramp, not as Sharon Tate and not as a wigless player proving for shock value the gender illusion. She walked the rest of the ramp as a supermodel. Of course there were flowers.